Composed Thoughts

everlasting buttercup
never have I ever seen a sweeter
little heaven
in a bitty bit of loveliness

took me as far in the rapids as
barking at the moon means everything
to every wolf

crying showers

watching as you spit up
every ounce of fluid 
from the little lung 
you've used to be
all above amazing

leaving rooms 
that I don't know
nothing 'bout
lately

always happy knowing 
I was coming home to you

Mona Lisa

sweet baby
orange laced

love the way
that you look at me like I was always
everything
everyday 

they told me nothing about
box cutter endings
where the page starts tearing
right where 
you were still reading

cliffhanger dreaming

hoping I can see you when the rain stops
drenching all the things
that I love

found you waiting on the sidewalk
knowing I was showing up

only thing I want
is one more chance
to hold you in my arms

stone heart made a mess of the restart found a drop of perfect permeating thoughts soul spacing hope you keep the bodies hanging in your closet like the way you make me feel like I'm not fuckin' crazy read woke too sleepy edge staring at the sea seeing if I'm meant to be there sorrow froth enough it seems forgot every spot that I ever put my keys jingle-jangle leaves my mind when I decide to finally sneeze bee swarm pollinating sunflower subtlety feel your fingers on my back throughout my favorite seasons

the missteps timing themselves just right before the cracks in the cliffside where we fall forever without the clumsy trip beforehand a December baby and making cold nights special the spot on my bed where you should be next to me is devoid of your imprint and the way we'd mix yours into mine creating one beautiful blueprint of forgetting where and when we are melted into your breath against my chest and feeling your heartbeat slow down as does mine in moments where nothing matters besides holding you so tightly and letting my alarm blare longer than it wants to be I can almost feel how slowly I'd trace my fingertips across your skin while you nestle closer into all that I have left as you show me everything

the eyesore that you can't not look at race track culmination back where I started from bait for the legendary aged out of purgatory one last message from the soul gifted failure "Don't fuck it up." I'm not trying to old man let me do how you couldn't finding where the exit is or is it the entrance? sometimes you break a few eggs before that one little shell hatches out a miracle I'll keep you warm inside my arms and feed you anything that makes you sound that sound when you're delighted enough to take a nap with me for a little while longer

giving you the blues and a rapture of red I stand in-between is and isn't missing key notes and learning to shut the hell up when I've nothing to say but of something I speak spoiling the mood precisely when I do overtly piercing timing I favor life better when the sky is gold when the rain clouds don't fuck with me except when expected I seem to invite them in

the worst possible moments

breaking bits of synopsis eradicate my quest to find a sentence that punctuates the screaming river begging me to capitalize short bursts of squirming manifest into how cold it is to smoke a cigarette outside the wisest have always said something that I always forget as wild as a stallion stuck neighing in the barn I will sit in my corner and count the locks of hair that I've lost waiting for your lantern and a little bit of food I can feel your fingertips burning down the forest

pedantic judging curmudgeon delivering something rowing in bevels that pay for the nothing sign stoked brain broke stain show laugh about it breeze block steam stopped leaves drop randomly chill for a second I've met all the fake in the face of a 'Dear John' letter in my breakfast hallowed the hollow before the bereavement dying in sorrow and singing a sonnet daring the best to be better at small talk fact of the weather: it's always fuckin' terrible backdoor to the third floor as aware as a condor in a cop car with the windows open payment is reverent don't fuck with my paycheck I can't wait until the window opens

a dark crescent moon hiding its face from the photographs answering questions deep inside the labyrinth paying back cowboy shit shooting first never looking over at the history I splattered on the porches of saloons the best cheat at poker and broad daylight robberies make a song about it and bathe in the riches just kidding I suffer well better wear my safety vest keeping still and writhing with cement shoes in bubble baths counting down the seconds to peace inside your fragrance I'll spend the moments waiting with a dream deriving you started off with something wrong ended up with bubblegum the waiting of my sweetness at the cottage on the hill

endurance encapsulate someone put a quarter in me wrapping up presenting presence present's present perforating "Somethings not quite right," smiling at my coffee, and small talk, and what the fuck chalk it up to bad luck, or good enough, if it suits your predisposition clinging to the side of the boat as you throw little pieces of paper at me I think I know the feel like you stepped in shit and everyone smelled you, or you forgot to zip up your pants and nobody told you I didn't mind it for a second I remember every bit of not being what a crime lock me up symbolically synchronous

a depressed celestial primate spinning in and out of bounds I recollect nothing from my time underground half-heartedly half awake having panic attacks at the sunshine barely breaking through the curtains I never realized that I'd find a rose growing in the mushroom patch I think about what outfit you'd choose as we stare at eachother enflamed in amazement let me bundle you in the tattered fray of my love tell me everything's okay be my map to the edge of it all as we explore the void and paint it pretty colors you'll never be a memory only the present present's presence beaming of your hair and the ways that you wear it I'm terrified to be anything if my everything isn't you