rather not bother

Hello?

Hello.

never ever thought that I would speak 
to a ghost

painful
rewinding

weeks of establishing a meek form
of giving up
seemingly stuck
in the up down
of taxidermy

deaf silence

almost burned the house down

one dumb cigarette
stuck in some paper towels

how I relinquish
my only sense of it
just to perish
to things that don't know
anything yet

I'd rather choke 
to my death 
in the hellfire
then have to know
any of you

I fucking hate life

squeaking by
common sense
telling me to die
in my basement

I keep
holding on
to breathe some ether 

one more week

one less second
hoping for some hope

million dollared
plagiarism
blacklisted

I hope you're happy 
and I hope you're fucking sad

welcome to the spinning wheel
where everybody
loses

mouthful

sallow shallows
batter better
after apprehending

swearing shouldn't
breathing butter
awfully altruistic

scaring scarabs
brittle bitters
animate acoustic

stop supporting
broken bridges
after all

the carnage

a subtle whistle

nine at night is the perfect time to panic

pollen disperses 
so perfectly
don't you think?

weak willed 
with a bad back
and a bone to pick

stage fright
in the streetlights
with a headache

sulking
I'm sorry

proudly
I'm not

counting on one hand
the people I trust

boring and backwards

my eardrums are asking for secrets
to treat my existence
and then some

ghosts in the marshes
floating on the cattails

pink sky playing with the wind
in my sail

the lost art of longing

In hopes that ever after doesn't start with coming back, I've devised a way to sort the noise and maniac attacks.

sleeping less
or way too much

eating dying grass

making sense of all the nonsense

loving happenstance

Sing to me a song you wrote 
while you were twilight flying.

I'll pick a part to focus on,
and figure out you're lying.

The finish line is stopping short.

fingernail confiding

Have you ever seen a smile right before they're dying?

too much

rhetorical

let me help connect you to
the mindscape...

...hold on

there seems to be a problem

Your last memory is only that.

Now, think about it.

weird ways

playing only classics
they're into it

seeping ceremony
creeping out the door
for cigarettes and rebar

I think it's time to go.

which way did he go?

smearing us with content
never get enough of it

AI
plane ride
crashing into everyone

saw enough
to give a fuck

have to pay 
to blow my head off

mass craft
under shoulders

hating every cell

steel wool
getting rid of
paint screaming
temper tantrums

never will my normal ever
get a glimpse of ease

holding tight

thorny roses

sleeping in the trunk
supposing

toiled torture
only laughing
when I wake
up

Lost my Cross

If only it was as easy to fix this as it is to stop Him from flying off of my shoulders and over my head. Hanging Mary on my chest instead to delegate faith where I seem to have lost it.

Seeing every other hour after sweaty dreams and palm readings, I'm bleeding from a head wound that never seems to heal properly.
Let it be.

Down wind on a raft going too fast, my only solace are the pretty colors flying by. Once in a while I find time to mind them properly, or at least flash a smile. Trying hard not to laugh at having lost my paddle.

I see ghosts of me slingshotting subtle songs into the shadows of the rooms that I forgot to put lights in. I'll get around to it, once I stop shaking.

In being bound to breaking down I found a familiar thought lingering at the edge of sorrow. If the hole didn't have a sky, I'd never try to climb out.

Just Want a Hand to Hold

What a beautiful day to lose faith
in an individual.

Grand statements
finally learning that
"I love you", 
is just a tool to make you
feel a little better about yourself.

Keep investing in the idea that you didn't use me, 
if it helps you sleep.

I've lost no winks knowing that you were never 
in my dreams.

You're the crimson wall on that spot in the backrooms that I should've never let my curiosity bring me to.

how sad

Don't tell me in a month that you're unhappy and discontent
because you left me when I needed you,
and now I know you're all the same.

I want an angel that I've never known.

off thoughts

tormented by every loud voice that never
let me feel 
for a second like
it's gonna be okay

I'll make it okay.

my mystery incredible 

Don't be afraid to say hello,
I don't bite,
and if you're brave enough to try,
you deserve it all.
I promise.

I'm so alone,

please,
be my special eloquence,
and I'll show you why you are,
the forever I've never encountered 

I'm waiting,

with prayed hands
and an defused atom bomb 

accepting denial’s anger

Floral ornaments of silk seem pretentious in light of losing the beating of your heart.
The stages of grief don't account for how willingly I wouldn't care if I was further underground.
A constant face of defeat in the hopes of succeeding where I've always failed most, computing nothing that makes any sense.

steering off course
looking for buried treasure

a glimpse of your smile
making me paddle harder

time ticking as my heart skips beats

trials stopping before I can make a bold attempt 

broken machinery
garbage building piles into mountaintops
of how the hell
I'll ever find a fix

protecting devilish inceptions
in my presence
because I'm not a fucking asshole
and stronger than you think

She watches me when I forget that she can see all of the particle misfortunes that I drag along my tired feet.

I'll kiss your memory just like I kiss your
food bowl.

Never let the sun shine on a pretty day
without you.

peach sour apples

the sweet song of nicotine

lost my track of time
inside Cerebro

better get some Advil

too much thought in a constant
of noise and 
concerning spots of ego

better get a telescope

sleeping fresher without
burdens of
nothing that
stopped to confront me
about how
I'm nothing

I breath deeper
in the ice water counting

finding pride 
in the scars placed
while I'm sleeping

steeped simile

seeing all the safeness
devolve into seconds
I choose not to
eat

peach sour apples

everything delicious
suspiciously tastes like
I know it
has know idea
what to think 

give me anything

needing a minute to breathe
so I can sleep for an hour
or a couple seconds

I miss farm stands

pretty dresses
cute legs

nice shoes

aren't you just the sweetest thing
that's ever been

lacking saturation

see less in the seams of a green dress

stealing garden gnomes
lookin' for some magic

loud birds

don't touch the wires 
unless you're in free fall
or ground sounds
will be the last thing
you hear

in inflecting
a point to look at stars
I've encountered other galaxies
and ended up on Mars

clawing at the ground 
after marking
my territory

ain't it damn cute though
post it on my story